Birth

Sorry it has taken so long for me to log on and write this... Recovery plus taking care of a newborn is not exactly the easiest thing I have ever done! This may be long, graphic, boring, etc... But I really want to get all of this down so I remember it in the years to come! (I will write another post telling the birth story in mostly pictures...) I will preface all of this by saying - All of the pain, anxiety, sleepless nights, etc is totally worth it!!!

I knew I was having a c-section... Jackson was breech long before the doctor ever told me that I would need a c-section. There was nothing wrong, but I could tell that his head never moved from that one spot (under my ribs on the right side of my body... very high). The rest of his little body moved. I could feel kicks and nudges. I could even feel him turning. I kept telling my mom that Jackson would either have a swirl (in his hair) on the top of his head or a bald spot like an old man! So when I went to the doctor, we scheduled a c-section for Friday, August 26th at noon! The anticipation set in!

I had a list a mile long of things I needed to or wanted to do before Jackson was born. The two weeks prior to him arriving were full of thank you notes, cleaning, organizing, cooking, shopping, and so much more. I made some final visits to some friends and co-workers. I felt like I was ready to go!

The night before Jackson's big arrival, my best friend spent the night. I figured I wouldn't be sleeping, so Jamie spent the night to help keep my mind off of the things that would be happening in the next few days! I finally fell asleep around 2am. I was happy that I got some sleep, but it didn't feel like enough!

I woke up around 7:30 Friday morning. I took a long, hot, relaxing shower - because I knew it would be another 6 or more years before I would get another one! I dried my hair, fixed my makeup, and got dressed - nothing fancy, just something comfortable. I drove to the hospital with my mom. We met my dad in the waiting area. I checked in with the registration desk, and headed up to labor and delivery. It all felt very strange - just walking up to someone, telling them that I was here to have a baby. They put me in a room, had me pee in a container attached to the toilet seat, and put on a hospital gown. Let me just tell you - a hospital gown is not the most comfortable or attractive thing in the world! I climbed back into the hospital bed. Jamie showed up at the hospital to wait with me. You should know that Jamie is applying to med school so she can become an anesthesiologist. She really wanted to go through the whole procedure with me - from a medical stand point, but I knew that I had to have my mom with me! The nurse asked me a million and one questions about anything and everything you could ever thing of. My parents were in the room, and I kind of just wanted to talk to them, but I knew she had to get all of these questions answered. As the nurse was asking me questions, these two other nurses came in to get things ready to start my IV. They kept telling me that they didn't have some medicine, but they would get it and then start my IV. I got the impression that the medicine they didn't have was the numbing medicine - so I wouldn't feel them putting the IV in my wrist.

The nurses finally came back with the numbing medication - and got started on my IV. I am not a huge fan of needles, so I didn't look - and I am glad I didn't. They worked on getting the IV in my arm while I talked to my dad. He tried to take my mind off of things. I kept telling him that it felt like they were shoving a straw in my arm. The IV felt super thick. I was not a fan!!! One of the nurses told me she was almost finished, but not to look because she made a bit of a mess and she wanted to clean it up a bit. I immediately knew what that meant. I knew there was blood all over my arm. She finally got me all cleaned up, and a huge rush of warmth ran through my arm. It changed from warm to cold and back to warm. It kept fluctuating all morning. I was allowed to move my arm and wrist whichever way I wanted to, but I really only wanted to keep my wrist really straight and really still. My parents and Jamie kept trying to calm me down. Finally, I calmed down.

I knew the time was getting close - I was going in for surgery at noon. Around 11am, my main nurse came into the room to tell me the best news of my life (a bit of an exaggeration). There was an emergency c-section that needed to push my c-section back a little bit. I knew that it would take a while, so I was a bit relieved that I was not the next one up. We waited about 45 minutes, and then the nurse and anesthesiologist came into the room. The nurse advised my parents to go get something to eat because it was going to be a long night. Jamie stayed with me - her dream come true! The anesthesiologist brought in his cart. I sat on the edge of the bed and hunched over Jamie's shoulders. The nurse brought the bed up really high. The anesthesiologist told me that something was going to be really cold. He started painting something on my back. I asked Jamie why it was so cold. I could feel it dripping down my back. He did something to wipe some of it off (I think). He put a sticky sheet on my back. Then he said that I was going to feel a sting - like a bee sting. Throughout all of this, I was crying hysterically. I was breathing really heavy and sobbing on Jamie's shoulder. At one point I told Jamie that I didn't think I really needed an epidural. My biggest problem was that I wanted to be in control of everything that was happening. The worst part about the whole process is that I had no control over anything!!! The anesthesiologist stuck me with some needle that felt just like a bee sting. I was crying so much - and Jamie did a great job keeping me calm. I tried to turn and look to see what was going on behind me, but Jamie kept me looking forward. That was the control part of me trying to take over. The anesthesiologist was cracking jokes and trying to keep me happy. The anesthesiologist told me that I would feel heat and a tingle run all over my body. I still think it is really strange that I felt it spread all over my body. It felt like someone was spreading peanut butter all over my back - hot, tingly peanut butter. My back went numb, then my stomach, followed by my butt, legs, and feet. The numbness was not exactly automatic - first it was warm, and then tingly, and then numb. The anesthesiologist started taping the epidural tube up my back so it would not get ripped out at any point during the surgery or the 24 hours after surgery. They told me to lie down and swing my legs up onto the bed - clearly they were joking, but I didn't know that. I tried to lift my legs, and started crying even more. The nurse and the anesthesiologist pulled my legs onto the bed and helped me lay back. I remember asking them how they were lifting my legs - they felt like they each weighed 100 pounds or more. They all laughed, and told me that they didn't give me something to gain weight. They explained that I couldn't tell, but they weighed the exact same amount they did before the epidural. I would touch my legs, but I couldn't really tell I was touching my legs. I mean - my hands could tell I was touching something, but my legs had no idea. The anesthesiologist left the room for a little bit (maybe 5 minutes). He came back and said that we were ready to rock and roll!

***At some point during the installation of the epidural, I remember that someone tried to come in the door to my room. I don't know who it was, and the curtain between the door and the room was pulled shut. Someone met the intruders and ushered them away. I didn't know who it was at the time, but my parents were back from lunch. When I was finished, my dad came into the room and talked to me for a few brief minutes before I was ushered away. I didn't see my mom, and I was afraid that my mom would not be in the operating room, and that I would be all alone!

I was rolled out into the hallway - and saw my mom! Everyone assured me that she would be in the operating room, but she had to get ready first. Mom got dressed in her scrubs while I was being taken into the operating room. When we got in the operating room, the nurses told me that they would be rolling me on my side and sliding a board under my body. It was the weirdest feeling - being rolled on my side. I had no control and I would have been unable to catch myself if I had fallen. They rolled me on my side, and I didn't fall. They slipped a board under my back, and rolled me back. They lifted me over to the operating table. They pulled out two arm tables, placed my arms on the boards, and laid warm blankets over my arms. I think my mom came in at this point because everything started to happen really fast. I remember looking at my mom, crying, and talking to her. I said things like "I can't do this!" and "Are you ready to be a grandma?" I was hysterically sobbing. I started to feel nauseated. The anesthesiologist pushed something through my IV and almost instantly I felt better. I continued crying to my mom, and she continued to tell me that everything was going to be fine! At that point, Dr. Woolridge came into the room. She came up to my head so I could see her. She asked me why I was crying, and I told her that I didn't want to do this anymore. She told me that at this point, we didn't really have a choice. I told her that I was okay, but I don't really think that I was. She walked to the other side of the operating table, and, after a few minutes, she said she was ready to begin. Again I freaked out. I told her she couldn't start because I was afraid I would feel her start cutting into me. She told me that she just pinched me really hard, and I didn't even flinch! We all chuckled, and I said that we could begin. She told me that I was going to have to stop crying because I was sobbing so hard that my whole body was shaking. With my whole body shaking, she could not make the incision. The anesthesiologist pushed something else into my IV, and I asked him what it was. He told me it would help me relax. I looked at my mom instantly, telling her that I felt really sleepy. Before she could reply, I was asleep. I woke up about a minute later - just enough time for the surgery to begin. I looked at my mom and asked her why I was feeling so tired, but, before she could reply, I was already asleep. I woke up a few minutes later. I could feel my body rocking back and forth, but I could not feel any pain. Dr. Woolridge said that the baby was really stuck in my uterus. I didn't know what that meant, but I could tell by the way she was tugging on my body. Before the baby was even out of my body, the anesthesiologist said, "Yep, definitely a boy!" I was relieved - since we have only boy things! I started talking to Mom, asking her if she was ready to be a grandmother and telling her that I couldn't believe that this was happening. I was starting to feel that rush of happiness that everyone talks about. Dr. Woolridge told my mom that she would want to stand up and watch what was about to happen. Mom stood up, and watched Dr. Woolridge pull the baby out of my body. I started crying again, but it was not the out of control sobbing that it had been. Dr. Woolridge held the baby up over the curtain for me to see. He was covered in goop, but I could tell he was perfect. I started crying happy tears as they brought the baby over to the warming table. Mom told me that she was going to go over to the baby - and I was okay with that. She went over to watch them clean him off, weigh him, and of course take pictures! I watched as the nurses did his footprints, and then stamped his footprints on Mom's scrub shirt. After a while (a few minutes) the nurse brought my tightly bound bundle of joy and laid him on my chest. Mom held him on with her hand. He was very close to my face, but I was able to kiss him and talk to him! I was crying even more then, but definitely happy tears! The nursery nurses took the baby and my mom off to the nursery to clean him up and get all of his stats. I was perfectly at peace at that point - I knew I was in good hands. I could see some of the surgery in the overhead lights, but I still couldn't feel anything! I started talking to the anesthesiologist and Dr. Woolridge. We talked about the music playing in the operating room, other patients they have delivered, and how things were looking. Dr. Woolridge was surprised that I could watch what was happening, but it assured me that things would be done fairly soon. A few minutes after that, Dr. Woolridge announced that she was all done. I thanked her for delivering that perfect baby that I was chosen to have. She left the operating room, and I was in the hands of the nurses. They picked me up off of the operating table, and placed me back on the bed I was brought in on. They rolled me on my side, and took the board out from under me. When they rolled me on my side, I could see towels soaked with blood. I was not a huge fan of that, but I knew I was fine, the baby was fine, and everything was over. I thanked the anesthesiologist and other nurses that were working on me and the baby, and my nurse wheeled me back to the recovery room.

***After the surgery, my mom told me that they figured out why the baby was breech. At one point in the surgery, Dr. Woolridge lifted my uterus out of my body and told everyone to look at it. (Yes, I now feel like a science experiment!) My mom didn't take any pictures, but she said my uterus is shaped like a heart. The baby's head was stuck in one of the cavities at the top of the heart - and he would have never been able to turn. It is a permanent condition, but nothing to be too concerned about! But did I mention that she LIFTED MY UTERUS OUT OF MY BODY?!?!?!

My dad and Jamie were surprised that I was finished already. I am sure they were also surprised that I came into the room smiling, my eyes wet with tears of joy! Mom was still in the nursery with the baby, and Dad left shortly after to watch on the other side of the nursery glass. Jamie stayed with me as I got settled back in my room. They informed me that there were no rooms available in the post-partum section of the hospital, but as soon as something was available, I would be placed.

I was so overwhelmed with emotions at that point. I had definitely calmed down, but was crying tears of joy! I am sure that I asked a million times where the baby was, but Jamie was patient and continued answering my questions.

It was the most amazing experience of my life! A little painful, but totally worth it! Jackson Thomas O'Brien was born on August 26, 2011 at 1:55pm. He weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce and was 20.75 inches long. He is 100% perfect! And I could not be happier! This boy has stolen my heart! I thought I knew what true love was - but now I am sure!